Motherhood is one of life’s greatest transformations—a journey that pushes you, grows you, and teaches you in ways you never imagined. I still remember the moment everything shifted for me. I was lying in bed, rubbing my stomach, watching the inauguration of the first African American President of the United States. I felt the weight of history on my shoulders but also the weight of my own life changing. I was nervous, cautious, and excited all at once. It hit me: playtime was over.

The days of carefree nights out with no responsibilities ended as I realized I had someone else’s future in my hands. I went into full-on hermit mode, spending my days at work, my grandmother’s house, and the grocery store. My life revolved around creating a safe and stable world for my baby, Jamari. And even though those days were exhausting and uncertain, the love I felt for my child was endless.

My circumstances weren’t ideal. There was no plan, no picture-perfect marriage, and no home of our own. But I refused to let that define us. Determined to build a life I could be proud of, I took control of what I could. Before Jamari arrived, I had secured a full-time job at a daycare (which meant discounted childcare for him), moved into a three-bedroom apartment with my older sister, and tried to nurture a healthy relationship with his father. But life had its own plans, and before long, I found myself navigating single motherhood through the dark forest of responsibilities and difficult choices with a half-full toolbox.

Fast forward 16 years, and the road hasn’t always been easy. I’ve learned so much—through work, volunteering in schools, and simply living the day-to-day grind of motherhood. I’ve had wins and lessons, moments of triumph and times I wasn’t sure I’d make it. And guess what? Life is still teaching me. I’m still on this highway, buckled up, driving carefully, and taking it one lesson at a time.

If there’s one thing motherhood has shown me, it’s this: you don’t have to have all the answers. I’m not an expert—I’ve just been blessed with the opportunity to learn along the way. And if my journey can help another mama out there, here’s what I’d share as my big three lessons:

1. Keep God first in all ways, always.

When the days get heavy, and the decisions feel impossible, faith is what has carried me through. Trust in something bigger than yourself. Pray. Lean into grace. It’s a foundation that won’t let you down.

2. It takes a village.

You can’t do it alone, mama. And you shouldn’t have to. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, lean on your people, and build a support system. Whether it’s family, friends, coworkers, or neighbors—your village will remind you that you’re not in this alone.

3. Surrender your need for control.

This one is hard. As mothers, we want to protect, fix, and shape everything for our children. But life has a way of humbling us. Sometimes, we just have to let go and trust the process. It’s okay if things don’t go according to plan—beautiful things can grow from chaos.

Motherhood is a journey, not a destination. Every step you take is shaping both you and your child in ways you can’t see yet. So, to the mama reading this, feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, know this: you are doing enough, you are enough, and the best is yet to come. Keep going—you’ve got this!